1. Ornithological Notes  (CLARENS NEWS: 6 September 2012) APOLOGY:  The Twitcher has been asked to apologize unreservedly to the proprietors of the Mosaic Pizza Emporium.   The disclosure, in last week’s column (Clarens News,30 August) that Woody and Doris, the town’s celebrity Ground Woodpeckers, have been dining for free on Mosaic Pizzas, has led to long queues of itinerant Indian Mynas, house sparrows, Hadeda Ibis, and even a family of merecats, demanding a slice of the action.  Mosaic’s owner (name withheld for fear of intimidation) lamented that while he was prepared to provide basic Neapolitan pizzas, the merecats’ demand for extra salami and artichoke hearts was a bridge too far.  He said that the angry birds had taken up positions on his Jungle Gym and had threatened to take hostages, while the merecats had gone into hibernation under his bar counter with a bottle of Irish whiskey.   Woody and Doris, recognizing that discretion is the better part of valour, have now reverted to ordering take-aways, which are delivered to the north-east corner of the MTN red-light district, under cover of darkness.   It is hoped that things will return to normal, although the hatching of 300 woodpecker eggs in the spring may yet threaten civil order and peace in Clarens. The Twitcher PS: Early birds and late night revellers will have been startled to see two large cows grazing on the recently reinvigorated spring lawns of the Clarens Square, on Monday morning.   The fact that they were neatly tethered suggested they were not Gauteng holiday makers but locals bent on getting their greens.   The owner was nowhere to be seen but, when I went to have another look an hour or two later,  they were gone, suggesting either that the previous evening’s magic mushrooms had induced a bovine hallucination, or that the Town Fathers had acted quickly and decisively to ensure that no Harley-Davidson or Ferrari would be spattered by second-hand grass.

Author: Clarens Guide